Wednesday, 13 July 2011

Flaws


Today I want to talk about something that’s been on my heart a lot today. The inspiration for this post is that I have had a moderately large argument with one of my close friends. No one has done anything wrong so there is no blame game to be played. We had argued about a characteristic that has always been a flaw of my friend. She is aware of this characteristic and will (on a good day) even admit to it, however this flaw is quintessential to my friends character and therefore without it she wouldn’t be her. So is it still a bad thing?


Well it managed to royally upset me and therefore I was less than diplomatic in explaining why I was upset and that just made her worse and it degenerated into a vicious upsetting circle resulting in me storming off in anger which wasn’t my most mature action ever. But if we were all without flaws then we would all be the same so is it our flaws that make us who we are? However, using that logic should we all embrace our flaws? I like to think that I am aware of my flaws and therefore make an effort to avoid them. But is that removing the things that define me as me? I hope not, and anyway I sometimes fail at avoiding my flaws so they are never gone for very long. Plus think what would happen to society if we all embraced our flaws? Nothing would get done, order would crumble, governments would cease to exist and international relations would explode into chaos. So therefore we should work to avoid our flaws and conform to the standards of behaviour and manners that society dictates. 


So where does this leave me with my friend? On first thought I concluded that either I would have to change my character to allow for hers OR she would have to change her character to allow for mine. This made me angry because, as previously stated, this characteristic is fairly fundamental to her and therefore the likelihood of her changing for me were about as likely as my bum fitting into size 6 jeans…. It just aint gunna happen. Therefore, as usual, it would be me that would have to change to accommodate her, and why should it always be me that has to change?! Then this made me sad as I realised that my self-riotousness (yes that is, in this case, one of my flaws) wouldn’t allow me to apologise for being upset by her flaw. So therefore it was the battle of the unaccommodating situational flaws. I say situational as being self-riotous isn’t always a flaw and, as stated at the beginning of this post, without her flaw my friend wouldn’t be the same girl therefore it isn’t bad all the time. So now I’m at an impasse. Marilyn Monroe once said “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it is better to absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” 


So now I think there are a different set of options; Either we stay stuck in our flaws and admit that we aren’t compatible and maybe have changed in opposite directions since first becoming close (which would be a terrible shame after all the two of us have been through) or the other option is to accept each other as we are complete with our flaws and try to avoid setting them off. I wonder if she will come to the same conclusion.