I have recently been pondering on to what extent friendship will make allowances and how far you should forgive someone. It is no secret to those close to me that some of my interactions have been tempestuous at best but recently I was accused of something so false that it doesn’t even warrant explaining. I was upset and hurting from something previous and someone I was talking to chose to take my pain and turn the knife by getting angry at me and never giving me a chance to explain. They just assumed I was cold, hard and unfeeling and that I had done them a terrible wrong by showing a weakness.
I mustered what little self-worth I had left from their attacks and told them if they didn’t want to be in my life then they shouldn’t but once gone, they can’t come back. I have since been thinking about if this was the right thing to do. Was I too harsh or potentially was this too lenient?
I know this person is a little strange and prone to overreaction. So maybe I should give them some time to cool off and calm down. Then I might be given the opportunity to explain and they would see how irrational they were being. I have known them for a number of years so if I can’t be their friend then what hope do they have?
But on the other hand, this isn’t the first time they have done something like this. They favour being dramatic and have sworn me out of their life a few times before only to return a couple of months later. Knowing them is such an emotional rollercoaster and I have stuck with them through hurt and anger. Bust surely there is a limit? Enough is enough! There must be a time where too much pain has been caused by someone and its better for you to just be rid of them for good regardless. I was upset and in need of some comfort when I reached out to them and they selfishly put their little issues above my upset.
But Matthew 6:14-15 says: For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
So I will forgive them. I think I will stand firm with my statement that if they don’t want to be in my life then I won’t chase them to be. Im through chasing people to be in my life, it just ends in hurt. I realise how destructive and bad for me their impact so I won’t seek them out. However I will not keep a grudge. It’s not healthy for me or for them and to forgive is the Christian thing to do.