Monday, 6 July 2015

See it, Want it, Take it, Have it

So everybody wants things, right? It might not be a physical thing but everyone is striving for something be it a better job, an exotic holiday, a bigger house, a girlfriend/boyfriend, or even just a new pair of heels. And you go through 4 steps to get it:

Poor ratty can't see it

1. See it
It may not be actually with your eyes but it some way or another you come across the concept of whatever you want. It might be in real life, or a movie, or a book, or whatever. Very rarely do things that come out of nowhere.

Puppy wants the food

2. Want it.
Now don't get me wrong rarely awesome things happen and you discover something you didn't even know you wanted! Sometimes those are the best things. I was lent a book recently that I loved but it was only after I read it that I realised I wanted to read it. Sadly I had to give it back afterwards though. I might buy my own copy. But erroneous things aside - mostly we set ourselves goals of things we want. Something in us decided yes - that is a thing we want to be/do/have/say.

3. Take it.
Pretty sure this cat just took the fish
Now this is kind of the main point of what I want to talk about today. In my experience if you want something you have to take it. Now I do NOT mean steal it. But it doesn't matter how much effort you put in at work if you don't apply for the promotion, it doesn't matter how much you save if you don't book that holiday, and it doesn't matter how much you pine after someone if you don't kiss them. You have to put the extra effort and take it. Now I know people that seem to have things just plop into their laps without effort. One of my friends perpetually finds men who treat her like a princess, another friend seems to get job offers without ever applying. Good for them but that's not how my life seems to work. Well no that's not entirely true, I have things I got accidentally that I would desperately want if I didn't have them. I have a loving family for example and I got them without having to work for it at all (sometimes they're hard work but that's different).

That's off topic. Anyway, you have to take what you've worked for and that can be really difficult. We spend so much of our lives building up to things that when they finally come it can be scary to allow ourselves to have them. The big promotion; that's scary, spending all your savings; that's scary, telling that person; that's scary! We spend so long wanting things that the thought of actually having them can be overwhelming. And what if we muck it up? What if we suck at the job, what if it rains all holiday, or the house has bad foundations, or they say no? What then?! Having the courage to take what you want can be the hardest part of it. It's incredibly brave.

I try to be brave and to take the chances. Isn't that it - TAKE the chances, it's not a passive thing like accept the chances, it's not a gift, it's something you have to reach out and grab yourself.

This elephant is totally owning his waterfall shower
4. Have it.
This bit is important too. Once you've taken it, you need to have it and own it in its entirety. There's no point doing things half arsed if it's important. I think I sometimes get so wound up in reaching for what I want that I don't know what to do once I have it! I have to remember to use it to it's full potential to make it all worth while. You have to put all your effort in the new job, see as much as possible on your holiday, work on the house until its perfect, and once you get that person never let them go.

So that's my ramblings for today. It's just something that has been knocking about in my head for a few days and needed to be let out.


Sunday, 5 July 2015

Winds of Change

So regulars will know that I never seem to stay in one place for very long. It started as an accidental set of circumstances but it's become second nature to me so much so that I have an almost countdown in my head that reminds me when I haven't had a major life upheaval for a while. Well it alarmed about 3 months ago and so everything had to change.

1. Change Job - this was something that was predetermined as the graduate scheme came to a close so this isn't something I controlled. However I am now working in research which is a 180 on the management scheme I was working on before. I have worked in research before but this is using simulations which is new to me. It's been a different learning curve and one that has brought new challenges as I go into a role that did not previously exist before. While this means I can shape it into what I would like, it also means that I have to forge the path rather than follow a previous trail. I am still working at the same trust but with a different hospital. I thought about relocating and even interviewed for a couple of other jobs elsewhere but nothing felt like as good a fit as where I am now so I guess I'm not done with Manchester yet!

2. Change House - this wasn't something that I had to do but I foolishly decided that now would be a good time to move house too. With hindsight it could have waited a while as a new job is stressful enough without moving too. Oh and on top of that I also went on holiday for 10 days which knocked out 2 weekends. While a holiday sounds like just what I would need to de-stress - it really wasn't a relaxing holiday. Anyway I did move house and it's never as simple as it should be is it? but I'm in now and nearly unpacked (that's what I'm procrastinating from atm). It's strange to be in a new place but with the new job as well it feels like a new phase just like if I had relocated.

Not a bad character to be compared to
3. Change Look - Something I used to do quite frequently is change my hair colour. I only really changed my hair style once and went from very long hair to a bob in the first year of uni and then spent the next 3 years growing it back out! It's still in the nondescript standard girl hair cut now but for the last year or so it's been dark ash blonde. Not any more. It's now just over the threshold into brown. I only went one shade darker than I usually do but frequent hair dyers will know that can make a big difference. When I dyed it it came out nearly black! I was angry that I'd left it on for the full time and although I have had black hair before (much to my mother's disapproval) I wasn't intending to be that dark. I then went to Romania and applied fake tan on the first day and unfortunately got the name 'Tropical Morticia' for my black dress and red lip look that evening. However now both the tan and hair have faded to normal colours and it is a lovely brown. It had me worried there for a couple of weeks though!

4. Change Attitude - I've been thinking a lot about what makes me happy and what are the barriers between me and them and one of the things I have really missed during my end-of-scheme-life-upheaval is being physically active. So in a groupon tizzy (or was it wowcher?) I signed up to a Pilates accreditation which isn't quite there yet as I still haven't cleared the 2nd bedroom (to become a studio) but that's on its way. Also on it's way is my new pole! Half the reason for the move was so I could have the space for a pole and practice at home so that is now on its way and I will be back in training first week of August with bells on (maybe literally, that sounds fun!).

So this is where the winds of change have blown me this time. It seems they have rather run out of puff this time as I feel I've been hit with a moderate breeze not a full gale force gust like previous times like Australia and Manchester moves. Hopefully this will be good for me. They say there are two winds in everyone's life: the wind that takes you closer to what you want, and the wind that takes you away from what you fear. The catch is they are rarely in the same direction. I tend to be a towards what you want kind of kite which can make me a little inconsistent and is the main cause for all the relocation. I know plenty of people who ride the wind to take them away from their fears though. This wind tends to be more stable and takes people into sheltered areas where the winds can't take them into danger, and I think that's why I know so many, I tether myself to them for some stability for a while and then fly on when my wind calls again.

Who knows how long I can stay tethered here? I feel like the wind is dying down now and I can stop flying for a while. Some floating on the breeze might be nice for a while.