Monday, 4 January 2016

Jerks and Wimps

Why are confidence and respect so difficult to find simultaneously? Conceptually they shouldn't be. Confidence is an internal thing and respect is an external thing so they should be able to get along just fine as they neatly keep out of each others way. They're both aspirations too, if I try to think of confident and respectful people I think of Richard Branson, Serena Williams, Tom Hanks, Angelina Jolie! More than that, I think of some of the best friends I have ever had.

However, take away the respect and have just the confidence, I think of people like Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Kayne West.... collectively not people I want to be like. I can think of some people like this that I really don't enjoy being around. Likewise take away the confidence and just have respectful and I think of... well there aren't celebrities that aren't confidant are there? It's preventative to being socially popular. And again I can think of people I know that could be so much more if they just had a bit of confidence.

So what is it that makes it so difficult? Why do we overshoot with confidence and hit jerk or overshoot with respect and hit wimp? Is it some kind of defense mechanism? Do we stop ourselves from feeling genuinely happy with who we are which causes a perceived inadequacy so we lash out with jerky overconfidence so we don't risk losing the little pride we have in ourselves? Potentially the overconfident jerk is secretly a wimp as well? Well that would be sad if we were all wimps. Then that follows that the wimps are too afraid of being proud of themselves or offending anyone else that they shoot themselves in the foot before they have the chance to be a jerk. A kind of hypo-jerk as it were since they are so afraid of being jerks they overshoot in the other direction.
  • A confident and respectful person is happy and well liked
  • A confident and disrespectful person is a jerk
  • A non-confident and respectful person is a wimp
  • A non-confident and disrespectful is... wow I hope no one is this because it sounds like a rubbish way to be
Maybe everyone is on the jerk and wimp scale and everyone is somewhere up and down the spectrum from hyper-jerk to hypo-jerk and hypo-wimp to hyper-wimp? Maybe we move too? Up and down depending on what we do and experience, and how we feel and grow. I feel like I move up and down.

Well I'm tired of meeting jerks and wimps. I'm also tired of being a jerk and a wimp sometimes, but I really try not to be and I think I manage it most of the time.... or is that me being a jerk? But why are confident and respectful people so hard to find?!

Where are all the well adjusted people?

Are you out there?

I hope so.