Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Stovepipe - the hidden hat hostelry

I needed coffee. So many of my adventures start with that simple sentence that my caffeine addiction really should replace "Once upon a time" or at least be an addition. This is one of them. There are more caffeine fuelled exploits here and here and if you're feeling particularly retro (I mention using msn non-ironically) here.

Once upon a time, I needed coffee. I ducked out of the arndale and was heading into the northern quarter when my partner asked me where I would like to go. "What about here?" I asked as we walked past the window. "Has this always been here?" And like the room of requirement, Stovepipe revealed itself. I don't mean that the place is literally hidden but it looks so incredibly at home nestled into the high street between a red brick pub and a music trade shop - how much more Mancunian can you get? I was entirely surprised to hear the bar had opened only a few days before!

Inside it looks like a bachelor's living room with dark chesterfield sofas, upcycled wooden shelves, and industrial columns. Of course the expected stovepipe hat is pride of place amongst other knickknacks and books, but there are elements of whimsy scattered about. The whole effect creates a grown-up but relaxed comfy feel, devoid of gimmicks or themes that are prevalent in attention hungry NQ establishments.

I settled down in a particularly cosy sofa with a soy flat white and tried to forget the din of the arndale. I spotted they stocked Manchester's zymurgorium gins and a couple of marmalade G&Ts later we were enticed by the board games. An hour further on (and still no closer to understanding how to play the Hobbit board game) we left, but only to return a few Saturdays later with some visiting friends.

Six of us settled down to lunch. The restaurant is running a reduced menu pre-official launch (I'll get to that later) but there was still a mix of cooked breakfasts, sandwiches and salads on offer all of which arrived promptly and were very tasty! However, the eggs benedict, although came as described on the menu, is served with spinach not bacon which makes it eggs florentine in my book. The sandwiches are mighty especially the club, the salads are fresh and well balanced, but by far and away the stovepipe brekkie is the most impressive. The photo below doesn't do it justice.

Stovepipe Brekkie, Beetroot and Walnut Salad, Eggs Benedict

After lunch we settled into that common post meal activity; a game of Zombies - another one of their board games. Again this had complicated rules which were confounded by trying some of hand made cocktails. The menu was enticing enough for the men to abandon any attempts at outdated masculinity so had pornstar martinis and raspberry prosecco 1897s both of which they said were delicious. I particularly enjoyed the espresso martini (see caffeine addiction earlier) and the stovepipe own larger was pretty good! The result of all this is their games need a maximum drinks suggestion on the box. There also may be some zombies that fell through the floorboards...

All in all I suspect I will be returning to Stovepipe. There's good food, a fabulously stocked bar, and staff that are always happy for a chat and a giggle. They're having an official launch this Thursday (15th June) with free drinks so you can go and see for yourself. Its RSVP so drop them a line on their facebook or instagram.


Full disclosure: Stovepipe approached me about writing a review after I first visited for a coffee by chance. I was not (and am not, nor will be) paid for this post however I received free round of cocktails when I returned. Stovepipe had no input into this post. All opinions are my own.

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Be proud of height

Martin Harvey/Alamy Stock Photo

Today I had this conversation:

Person At Meeting: You are tall aren't you? I don't remember you being this tall last meeting.
Me: Oh well I'm in heels today *points at black patent T-bars*
PAM: *looks* yes but you must be tall, taller than me anyway
Me: Well I'm taller than most people, don't worry about it

Does that seem a normal conversation to you? It did to me at the time but the more I think about it the more angry I get at myself.

Firstly the initial comment is a fairly well meaning, if slightly misguided, attempt at small talk. However it is slightly odd to respond to. "Yes I am" seems a bit of a conversation killer. "No you're just short" is only true some of the time. When someone points out I am tall I usually respond by sarcastically pretending I had no idea but this wasn't someone I knew well enough to class this as banter rather than rudeness.

So apparently I came up with an excuse?! I am tall for a girl in this country. Wikipedia thinks that the average height for a woman in the UK is 5'5. I am just shy of 5'10 so I am statistically tall. I like to think of my height as 10% extra free so why did I feel the need to justify why I appeared tall? There's nothing wrong with me being tall so why did I do that?

Then, to make it worse, PAM (who is male for the record, PAM stands for person at meeting, not a lady called Pam) points out I am taller than him and I feel the need to apologise for that again and reassure him that its nothing to be worried about! For goodness sake. He wasn't bothered that I was taller than him yet still I felt the need to add in the extra provision as if my height was somehow disrespectful to him.

Where did that come from? Why am I ashamed of my height so much that I think other people are offended by it? If anyone genuinely is bothered that I am taller than them then that is their insecurity not mine. This however is my insecurity that I am bothered if other people may be bothered by my height. How impossibly British is that? 

Maybe it's because he was a man and in a self depreciating moment I succumbed to the patriarchy and thought women couldn't be taller than men? Perhaps it is from being tall and therefore "different" through school? Tall women are in celebrity magazines and runways so it should be a desirable thing. Many of my short friends would love to be taller and find their height to be distinctly inconvenient. 

So, note to self. Be proud of height. It isn't bothering anyone else, and if it is - I shouldn't care!


Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Tanning and Paleness

I am a pale girl. Typical English rose complexion with that near translucent skin that makes me look slightly ill in strong lighting. I'm sure every phlebotomist I've ever seen has rejoiced in my visible vascular system. I however do not.

For the majority of the year I rock my paleness. Manchester's climate is particularly mid-tone grey and therefore I am not at risk of burning not reflecting so much white that I look spectral. However, every now and again a miracle happens and the sunshine comes out and I suddenly feel self-conscious.

Some people rock pale in a Dita Von Teese way. But that's not a look that you can just wake up and chuck on - the pin up girl highly styled look takes time and upkeep. Neither are something I want to do. Especially with my naturally blonde (and unnaturally highlighted) hair.

Some context to this: I grew up in Essex home of the oompa-loompas with hair extensions. I went to school in a full face of make up from the age of 13 and the smell of Johnson's gradual build up fake tan moisturiser still brings back school flash backs. Even better if there's a faint wiff of lynx.

Only tanning where your dress shows

So recently I have started fake tanning again. I fake tanned myself as any true Essex gal knows how to do. I have also had my nails done and eyebrows professionally sculpted. I do wonder if in conforming to conventional beauty standards and I am betraying my self confessed strident feminist declaration. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being tanned if you truly want to be for yourself, there is however something wrong with changing who you are for anyone else.

I did some thinking and am still undecided if I feel better about myself while more styled because I genuinely enjoy it or if I just feel more socially desirable. But I know for one thing it did make getting ready for a wedding a whole lot easier! If the only good point from fake tan and nails is that it means you can get ready for a wedding in an hour and a half (including shower with hair wash); then I'm all for it!


Thursday, 1 June 2017

CLRCFF - A Taste Test Review

Remember a while ago I posted this post about CLR CFF? Well apparently I wasn't the only one to order some of the miracle clear coffee as it took over a month to arrive. However, from what I can tell from their website and Instagram I am still one of the first to receive their order.

The cute little bottles are exactly as they look online. There's a slight yellow tinge to the liquid but not even as much as a glass of bubbly. Once it was in my trusty Kath Kidston mug, the coffee looked fully clear against the off white inside - so far it has met expectations.

Ever the scientist I decided to ask everyone in the office to try some so I wandered round our offices with one of the bottles and a stack of paper cups. I managed to convince 10 people to try a sip plus me. The most frequent comment is that this stuff smells weird. Like really weird. It does smell like coffee in a round about way but it also smells alcoholic like some kind of coffee shot or even vaguely like a peaty whisky. I guess alcohol must be used in the process that means the coffee is left smelling rather chemically?

Once you get past the smell it tastes of yummy smooth coffee. It isn't a strong after dinner coffee taste but a smooth breakfast kind of coffee taste. We drank the coffee straight but I had put it in the fridge before hand. The label says to drink at 13-17 degrees so it should have been exactly on temperature after a few minutes out of the fridge in an un air-conditioned office. 13-17 seems an odd temperature to drink "black" coffee at though. I think it would be great to have in your handbag if you knew you were going to be out all day and would have the opportunity to get to a coffee shop and drink a hot coffee? That would be really practical as I often end up with an energy drink in those situations but then you have to deal with the sugar and looking like an angst pre-teen or a caffeine junky.... potentially that last one is appropriate but I'd rather people didn't know that.

It feels rather thin in your mouth as if it was water which if you're used to heavy milky coffee but since I'm a black coffee drinker most of the time it didn't bother me.

There is an after taste. It's rather persistent. It's a smoky tobacco taste that stayed with me past lunch! I think this was more disturbing than the smell which only lasted for a while. My lunch included both a packet of cheese and onion crisps and a palate cleansing Icelandic yogurt - yet still I felt I had smoked a pack of Marlboro's instead. It faded in the afternoon but I was resisting the urge to find gum just to see how long it lasted. Maybe this is another by product of the clearificationing?

Are you enjoying this rollercoaster of a review? Cute bottle - pro. Alcohol smell - con. Coffee taste at room temp - pro. After taste - con. I can't make heads or tails of it either. It seems to be a product that would fit perfectly as an Instagram focused, new thing, health conscious, mid 20s woman (wow don't I sound high maintenance?) but at the same time the flavours seem to be more suited to an old man sitting in a pub on a Sunday afternoon with a whisky and a smoke.

From Instagram @clrcff

I do however have another bottle to try out. Some of the Instagram posts I've seen have had the bottle with some oat milk in it too - maybe that would neutralise the smell and after taste? Some other people have put it into cocktails so maybe steer into the alcohol smell - that might work too? One of the team suggested that it might be good for baking and another person thought it might be better with a sweetener to make it more of a soft drink. So I think over the next few days I will try some of these and let you know how I get on.

Has anyone else tried it yet? What did you think? I'm not sure yet.