Monday, 27 February 2017
There's a calm peace of being alone in a place you're comfortable in. Right now I am sitting on my bed, on top of the yellow stripy duvet, with the throw pillows scattered around me, the multi-coloured tulip bouquet sits on my bedside in my late grandma's vintage glass vase. There's no thought of where I need to be or what I need to do. I have a list of things to do but I can do them later when I feel more like it. Right now I feel like sitting with the tulips.
Friday, 24 February 2017
So today is a very odd day. I’ve known today was coming for a while and yet I haven’t known how to prepare or even if I should – today is my last day at work.
I left early as there wasn't anything else to do and went to the bus stop. It was warmer so my toes didn't freeze. As I stood there I wondered would that be the last time I used that bus stop? It's a silly thing to worry over but it got to me. It's not just a job I was leaving but my whole weekly routine, the bus route, which bus pass I need, the pubs and cafes nearby, I don't know any of those things about where I'm going. Easy enough to learn over time I guess but it will be a few weeks of disorientating wandering before I get the hang of a new place. At home I made a cup of tea which I realised I hadn't done at work today having taken my mug home yesterday.
Now my leaving flowers are in vases and the prosecco is cooling in the fridge. I'm feeling at a loss of what to feel. But in the words of Will from Notting Hill, today has been Surreal, but nice.
Saturday, 11 February 2017
I am starting a new job at a new place with new people and new new new, all the new. I seem to swap from the digital opposites of adventurous excitement and utter dread. At the moment I am leaning towards excitement because a change is so overdue. I think the unease at change is an intrinsically human thing to have but I am determined not to let it hold me back from experiencing new things.
Wish me luck.