Sunday, 12 August 2012

Goodbyes are hard – part 2

So over a year ago I started this blog and I was writing about how hard it was to be leaving everyone in the UK to come to Australia. Now I’m going to write about how hard it is to leave everyone in Australia.
I’ve had such a broad experience in the last year. I’ve had some real low points where I wanted to go back to the UK. There was one time when I very nearly did go back after having a shocking time and losing sight of why I was here. But I’ve also had some amazing times here. I have been given some amazing opportunities to better myself and my career, I’ve been able to travel and see some amazing things like the Great Barrier Reef and koalas, kangaroos and crocodiles in the wild and I’ve also grown to really love some of the people here. They know who they are; I don’t think any of them read this blog though. I should make them!
The last week has been a blur. I’ve had my two housemates leaving  (which was very sad, I miss them already), the new girls arriving, packing everything I own into suitcases and all the while trying to see as many of the people I care about here just one more time.
This week I have had more leaving drinks, leaving cocktails, leaving meals and leaving chats than feels humanly possible. I have even had a leaving musical! But I can tell you one thing; it’s certainly not emotionally possible! It’s so exhausting being emotionally drained all the time. I just really don’t want to leave and acknowledge that this may be the last time I see these people. Oh dear, I can’t even write that without welling up. Today I bought a new big suitcase and a carry-on bag and nearly cried in front of the salesman while he took my credit card just because it symbolised that I was actually leaving. It’s like PMT on steroids. It’s just not fair! Why does the universe mock me by putting people I connect with and want to be around on the other side of the planet?! I suppose it’s a test. I hope I pass.
I can see why so many people come to Australia and never leave. It’s infectious. I don’t know if I could ever move here forever as I am an Englishman to my very core, but I could certainly live here very happily for a good few years.
I guess it all comes down to change. Why change something if you’re happy with it? Why move if you’re happy where you are? I am trying to focus on all the things I gain when I come back to the UK like my friends and family (and the cat). I don’t mean to sound like I’m not looking forwards to seeing them, because I am, I have missed them a lot this year. I just don’t want to leave the life I have spent a year making for myself here with all the wonderful people in it. Sydney feels like home now.